Monday, May 1, 2017

Personal Project: Not Being Irritated By Everything

Maybe you've been reading along for a few years, and in that case you'll remember my .blogspot days and this blog having a slightly different name! Pugs, Pearls & Positivity just didn't roll off the tongue, and I dropped the positivity after a while. Being positive is such a huge part of my identity and that's why it was important to me to include in the name of my blog. I figured even if it wasn't in the name I could still keep this space positive and motivational! 

I enjoy talking about and sharing the good things in our life, so this blog has indeed stayed positive! I can't even remember the last time I vented about something bad. But, somewhere along the way my brain forgot to keep up with this. I love the quote above: "Positive people also have negative thoughts".  Everybody has bad days and sometimes you can't help but feel a little negative. 

What I'm talking about here today is something that goes a bit further than just the casual negative thought. One day I was talking to my sister about something that was driving me crazy, and I suddenly had a realization right in the middle of my sentence. I noticed that complaint was my third complaint during our car ride. Amy was politely listening to me and she lets me vent whenever I need to. But, I had been doing that fairly frequently. 

I don't know if she noticed me suddenly getting quieter during that trip, but I spent a lot of time thinking about this little habit that I had gotten into. It bothers me that as a person who is constantly trying to improve that I could retrogress in this way. And I'm not even sure when it started, but basically, I began just being irritated by everything. 

As I get closer to being in my 'late' twenties (eek!), most days, I feel like I know myself pretty well. I've always had a tendency to be critical. That quality has actually served me pretty well! I like to critique myself and try to find ways to improve. However, I realized that it's not okay to critique other people. Not everyone has my standards, and it's not fair to hold them to those standards without their knowledge. 

One of my favorite things in life is to learn about people and what makes them tick. What makes them do the things they do? Getting to know people helps you to be less judgemental and give them the benefit of the doubt. But! When I don't understand them or why they are doing whatever it is, I get so frustrated. Because I have this apparent tendency to get frustrated and be critical it's a slippery slope toward negativity. I literally could walk around all day getting irritated at everything and everyone. 

So I made a decision that day in the car. (Much like the decision I made when I was 14 and decided to start listening to my parents. Instant switch flip.) I would not allow myself to continue being annoyed all the time. The reality is, people are crazy and will continue to do things that you don't understand. It does no good to get worked up about it. 

That was a few months ago. I still find myself slipping in and out of that negative thinking pattern. It's helped me a lot to think about how I would like others to feel about me. I don't want the majority of conversations my sister and I have to be me venting about something that bugs me. I don't even want the kind of reputation where people expect to have a conversation like that with me. I'd rather have the reputation of being the one that will turn the topic around to good things. You never feel good after talking like that with someone else. I want people to feel good when they leave my company. 

There is also the line of thought that I would hate to know someone was being that critical of me or frustrated because of something I did. Whether it was something I chose to wear, something I said or a decision I made. No one knows what moved me to make those choices, and in the same way, we don't know all the details or the motivations of someone else. Give people the benefit of the doubt, because you want them to do the same for you. 

Leave a comment down below if you feel this way sometimes too! Are you like me, trying to be positive all the time, but have a tendency to be critical? Are you more of a positive person or do you tend to be negative? I'd love to know what personal projects you are working on! And let me know if you've been around since the beginning and remember the Pugs, Pearls & Positivity days!

10 comments:

  1. "There is also the line of thought that I would hate to know someone was being that critical of me or frustrated because of something I did. Whether it was something I chose to wear, something I said or a decision I made. No one knows what moved me to make those choices, and in the same way, we don't know all the details or the motivations of someone else."

    MIC DROP. WoW! That last part is so, so good. I've wondered that before, like "What do I do that I have no idea drives people up the wall?!" Because I wonder how other people don't know about the things I'm frustrated by.

    The title of this post really drew me in. I'm a very positive person, but my negative thoughts about myself and others have slowly increased as I'm getting older. I HATE that because I really do enjoy giving grace and trying to walk around in others' shoes. Such a good post, and a great reminder as we start the week.

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    1. We probably don't want to know what other people are thinking about us! I feel like this has gotten harder as I'm getting older too, so now I'm wondering if there is something to that!

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  2. I really LOVE this post!! I'm a very positive person too, but lately have found myself frustrated at work when people don't live up to "my standards". Lately I've had to remind my self that while I set a high level of expectation for myself- that's not what everyone holds them self to and I have to be ok with that! I also agree with you that when you look for the negative in others... you will find it. On the other hand, if you look for the good, you will find that! Have a great day! XO

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    1. Thanks Gentry! You totally get it. We have to be okay with people meeting their own standards and not ours. And that is a very good point, if you are looking for bad-it's there!

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  3. GIRL this post resonates. no one likes a complainer; yet, I could find something to complain about in nearly every situation. I don't know if it stems from a perfectionist mentality or what. finding flaws can definitely lead to excelling in a professional setting; yet, also lead to having no friends in real life. it is a daily battle and props to you for acknowledging and working on it :)

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  4. Great post! I think it's fine to vent but once it's done and dusted, it's time to move on before you fall down the rabbit hole of negativity. And yes, people don't have the same standards as you or vice versa so we do have to be kind and let them be... :)

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  5. I love this so much! You are such a great writer and your words really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing and being real :)

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  6. Yes!! Love this post.
    We don't need or want to know what anyone else thinks of us! They aren't financing our lives or feeding us so who cares!! Lol

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  7. I love this post! It's so true that we just need to take a moment and rearrange our thinking then we can be positive and just let all of the negativity go. Also I'm a new reader and I LOVE your header. And my partner (who is obsessed with pugs) is going to flip out over how cute yours is haha.

    http://littlewhytebook.com/

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  8. I love where you said, "it's not okay to critique other people. Not everyone has my standards, and it's not fair to hold them to those standards without their knowledge." I too find myself being very critical of others while struggling to remain a positive attitude. Everyone is different, has different standards, was raised differently etc. I have to remember not everyone is like me, and they do things differently. I find myself being judgmental of ppl way too often. But I feel like I cross the line when I complain about it to others, which happens more often than I'd like. I too have to keep myself in check!
    This was awesome, well written!

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