Wednesday, September 30, 2015

When Your Brain Brings Up Something Embarrassing From 1995

I think that your twenties are a slightly confusing, yet fun time when you get to find out who you are. My mom has always said that your 30's are you best years because you know for sure who you are. So, I've got 5 more years of learning! 
One thing I have learned about myself is that I have a social threshold. I have really benefitted from knowing that. I love being with people, but I know that after a certain amount of time I need to recuperate from that social interaction. Very few exceptions to that-I can be with my husband 24/7 and have no problem. I think that's because I think of him as an extension of myself. (that may sound way weirder than it actually is) This is why I almost always go on a run when I'm on vacation with others. I need that alone time. 
The downside to that is when I'm alone too long, I start thinking. I enjoy my commutes to work because I end up doing a lot of planning. But, when you run out of things to think about...well, my brain kind of never shuts down. It starts bringing up memories I've completely forgotten about! My mind has a mind of it's own! Today, while driving, my brain randomly brought up this time in Kindergarten when I tied my shoelaces to the table leg and got stuck. Seriously. A horribly embarrassing moment from literally 20 years ago. 
I find myself literally groaning out loud when my brain brings up that random dumb thing I said when I was 16. It's tormenting. I don't think it's healthy either! These memories are making me annoyed with myself. I'm constantly thinking "Ugh, why did you do that?!" I know I am typically hard on myself, but these thoughts take me to a whole new level of criticism. 
My recent strategy has been to reason with myself. No one remembers that... It wasn't that bad....You'd do it differently now... I have to be hard on myself for being hard on myself! I wouldn't be as critical of someone else if they did the same thing, I keep telling myself. 
Mostly I just have to kind of silence the thoughts by shaking my head and forcing my brain to focus on something else. Why can't my brain bring up good things I've done, instead of that one weird thing, ya know?

Leave me a comment: Does you brain like to remind you of embarrassing moments? How do you deal with being self critical? 



4 comments:

  1. Oh the 30s are great! Honestly, my 20s were my toughest years. I still felt like I hadn't grown up and had so much to learn. Made many mistakes.
    I'm terrible self critical. It's the Virgo in me!!

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  2. I'm the same way!! If I'm not constantly doing something, my mind goes to the stupid and embarrassing things I've done in the past. And your mom is right! The 30s are the best! I'll be 32 in a few months and I've never felt better!

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  3. Oh goodness, I do this same thing! And like you, I know that people have better things to do than think about something I said 2 weeks ago but it's so hard to talk sense into yourself sometimes!

    -Ally
    Hustle & Whoa

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  4. oh yeah i totally remember embarrassing things random too - so awkward ha. sometimes our quiet times lead us to remembering stuff we'd rather forget haha.

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